Why is Mark Zuckerberg so damn ugly?


Take a look at this pic, if you can bear to do so. It is, of course, Mark Zuckerberg. Fuck, he’s ugly isn’t he? Pale, sallow skin; lank, greasy hair carelessly plopped on his head like a discarded wet and dirty dishcloth; sunken, dead, Zombie-like eyes…urrggh!

Yup. Zuck is ugly as fuck.

But his ugliness is more to do with just his (deeply) unfortunate physical appearance. His ugliness is also related to the ugliness of his soul – you can see the ugliness of the man’ soul reflected in his fish-like eyes…you can see it instinctively, probably without even realizing exactly what you’re seeing, just aware of a sense of vague unease and distaste. For the truth is, that only someone with an ugly, dysfunctional soul could have unleashed the sewer of filth, depravity, manipulation and lies that is Facebook upon humanity. A normal human being would have looked into the abyss that is Facebook, seen the true evil of its face staring back and thought ‘ oh no, ain’t doing that, ain’t going there, that thing is NOT being unleashed on the world’. Not Zuckerberg….he just saw dollar signs. Of course, in a saner world, a nerdy, unsocialised geek like Zuck would be where he should be – sitting masturbating in the cellar of his mum’s house, unknown and unnoticed.

Here’s a little ‘fictional’ piece called ‘FakeBook’….

Once upon a time…in the land of Anywhere, in a world long since forgotten, in the fine and prosperous city of Anyplace, a clever but amoral man working for the Greedy One Percent hit upon an excellent way of exerting control over the masses and reinforcing the power of The System. His idea was a form of Social Control (which in your world you call Social Media, though, in fact, Unsocial Media would be nearer the truth)) and it was called FakeBook.

The man’s Greedy One Percent employer’s soon recognised the potential of FakeBook to control the way The Ordinary Folk thought and using the Secret Powers of Advertising and Celebrity Endorsement, FakeBook was Constantly Hyped as something which should be In Every Home and on which everyone should have a Profile.

And so it came to pass that soon FakeBook was in every home and everyone did indeed have a profile.

Soon, the populace of Anywhere fell into FakeBook Groupthink as only Government Approved Views were allowed expression on FakeBook; a policy reinforced by millions of Fake FakeBook Accounts controlled by the Government (and by The Government I, of course, mean The Greedy One Percent). The Fake FakeBook accounts spewed out Government Sanctioned Propaganda and launched Vicious Personal Attacks on anybody expressing a Non-Sanctioned Point Of View (before their Non-Sanctioned Point of View posts were deleted by the FakeBook Controllers).

FakeBook was a spectacular success and The Ordinary Folk now thought only in terms of FakeBook Groupthink. If it wasn’t on FakeBook it wasn’t happening and if FakeBook said something was true (even if it was a Big Lie) then it was true and if FakeBook said you had to do something, well then, you just had to do it, didn’t you?

If you asked Johnny “why did you say that, Johnny? That’s a terrible thing to say to someone,” Johnny would reply, “because everyone else on FakeBook was saying it.”

If you asked Johnny “why do you believe that, Johnny, there’s absolutely no evidence that that is so?” Johnny would reply “you’re wrong, it is true because FakeBook says it is true, how dare you question The Truth!”

If you asked Johnny “oh, Johnny, why oh why did you kill your friend?” Johnny would reply “because I wanted to broadcast his murder on FakeBookLive and get lots of ‘likes’.”

And the moral of this tale is…delete your social media accounts, life will be better without them; social media has nothing positive to offer, it’s a sewer of manipulation, lies, depravity and cruelty.

If you like rude, outrageous satire you might also like my book ‘Fakes, Freaks, Liars, Cheats and Celebrities’ (published under the name SJ Carmine)…a darkly humorous thriller set in the world of celebrity…

Andrew Manning has spent twenty years repackaging and reviving celebrities whose careers have been overshadowed by scandal, but now even his remarkable talents are about to be tested by some particularly dangerous characters…

Janey, pop music goddess, a celebrity with peculiarly vampire-like teeth and very strange eating (or should that be drinking?) habits that are about to be exposed by an ambitious young photographer.

The Producer, a king in the world of entertainment and a serial abuser of hopeful young wannabe’s. Shelley, model and social media influencer, who’s determined not just to blackmail her famous and secretly gay husband but also to utterly destroy him.

Joey, a troubled reality TV star, desperate to hang on to his celebrity, even if it means slowly poisoning himself to death.

Charlie, morbidly obese, murderous Mafiosi adviser to Janey, who asks Andrew to do something so disturbing that even he, a veteran of celebrity weirdness, is appalled.

Meanwhile, Johnny, Andrew’s partner, begins a descent into “celebrity-induced psychosis.” There are voices in his head, and they’re telling him to kill celebrities.

Will Andrew be able to balance the demands of so many different and desperate characters – and who’s going to end up dead?

Celebrities have secrets to die for.Celebrities have secrets to KILL for.

Available to buy now in Kindle and paperback…

Buy or read free sample at Amazon.co.uk

Buy or read free sample at Amazon.com

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3 thoughts on “Why is Mark Zuckerberg so damn ugly?

  1. You’re right Zuckerberg is ugly. I don’t know how his wife wakes up to that face every morning. It must be the money! If the eyes are the mirror of the soul, Zuckerberg’s soul is in deep trouble.


  2. Damn that boy is ugly!! If him and homely chesea clinton got together……….ewww…..please dont have any children!!!( I’m thinking he would have to put a paper bag over his head to get sex)


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