Do we really need politicians? I mean, let’s be brutally honest…what do they do for the average person in the street? Fuck all, basically, sweet fuck all.
They do a lot for the people that pay for their campaigns and who give them fuck off big book advances or very well paid non-executive directorships when they retire form the world of ‘politics’. An awful lot. In fact they serve up the country on a plate to them and turn multiple blind eyes whilst crimes are committed and taxes evaded. They even start illegal wars for them in far-flung countries and bomb the shit out of brown skinned people (who, as we all know, don’t count). But for you…nah, mate, fuck off back under your rock, ordinary person, and die ‘cos you ain’t got the Money Factor.
And then there’s the Twat Factor, I mean, are politicians a bunch of fucking twats or what? They wear suits, can’ t color co-ordinate, pretend to go jogging, talk about God and crap like that and try oh so ever fucking hard to be cool and down with the folks. But all the time, you’re looking at them and your thinking…nah…mate…you’re a twat…you are Mr. Bean gone fucking wrong.
And, of course, politicians speak shit. This is called the Shit Factor. They speak shit when they wake up in the morning, they speak shit all the day long, they speak shit just before they go to bed and then when they’re sleeping they mumble shit. They are reservoirs of shit, Amazon fucking deltas of shit. They are the Kings and Queens, the Alpha and Omega of shit.
But…talking all that shit does, of course have a purpose. The purpose of politicians shit-talking is to fool you into thinking that they give shit about you so that you’ll give them your vote. Trouble is, when they get into power they promptly forget about all the shit they promised you and just do shit for the rich folk (i.e. see the Money Factor above…).
Then there’s that other problem with politicians…the Ugly Factor. I mean, are politicians an Ugly Bunch of Gits, or what? Bad hair-does, bad skin, lumps, bumps, hair in the wrong places, shifty-looking, piggy little eyes…even on the rare occasions when when they’re not obviously physically ugly, they’re still still fucking ugly because you can see and sense the ugliness of their dark, twisted souls leaking through like pus from a suppurating ulcer.
Which…brings me on nicely to another reason why politicians are weird, disturbing and unnecessary…the Evil Factor. They’re a bunch of evil fucking bastards. They are weird, dysfunctional fucks who enjoy having power over others, they are devious, lying sociopaths who seek to satisfy their perverse desires for power and money (and lot’s of other much, much darker nastiness….just ask Jeffrey Epstein…oh, wait, you can’t he, er, ‘killed himself’…) and will go to any lengths to do so not matter who gets hurt in the process.
And finally…we don’t really don’t need politicians because of the Not Necessary Factor. To operate effectively a state need needs a civil service/administration, a police force, a defense force, an education system, a health system, a judiciary and a legal system…and when decisions need to be made about economic/financial/foreign policy and these decisions can’t be made by the existing infrastructure then, they could simply be put to referendum vote of us ordinary folk. Blimey, simple or what!?
So, yeh, politicians, sleazy, disgusting, not needed, nasty bunch of assholes. Get rid of ‘em.
Liked this? Read more rude, disrespectful humour in my satirical thriller based in the world of celebrity – ‘I Really Really Want It’. (Because celebrities have secrets to kill for!);